Quick Answer
Relationship therapy for all configurations is depth-oriented work for couples and relationships of every shape — monogamous, ethically non-monogamous, throuples, polycules, and queerplatonic — that addresses why the same conflict keeps happening, not just communication mechanics. At Angeles Psychology Group, your structure is understood, never pathologized.
Key Takeaways
- Recurring conflict is rarely about the surface topic; underneath it is usually an attachment need that has gone unmet.
- Non-monogamy, polyamory, and kink-aware relationships are affirmed and understood here — not tolerated or treated as the issue.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method work with the emotional undercurrents driving the same three fights.
- Jealousy is information, not a verdict — IFS helps you meet the part that carries it.
- Joint or individual consults start with a free 20-minute conversation about fit.
01 — OverviewThe myth of the referee, and what relationship therapy really does
Many people arrive at relationship therapy braced for a referee — someone to declare who is right about the dishes, the texts, the night out. The more useful truth is that the content of the fight is rarely the fight. Beneath the same recurring argument is almost always an attachment question: am I important to you, will you turn toward me, can I count on you. Effective relationship work surfaces that question so the cycle finally has a name instead of just casualties.
And for clients in non-traditional structures, there is a second relief: you will not have to defend the shape of your relationship before the work can start. The guides in this pillar treat couples, throuples, polycules, open and ethically non-monogamous relationships, and queerplatonic partnerships as valid configurations to support, not symptoms to correct.
Relationship therapy for every configuration. Affirming relationship work treats the structure of your relationship as valid and the recurring pattern as the work — not the other way around.
Related services: Relationship Therapy · Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy · Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Relationships & ENM Library
27 in-depth guidesThis page is the hub for everything APG publishes on relationship therapy for every configuration. Each guide goes deeper on a single sub-topic — start with the cornerstone guides, then follow the threads that fit your situation. Every guide links back here and out to the relevant service, so you can move from understanding to a first conversation.
Cornerstone Guides
Browse the Full Library
More Guides
- Polycule Dynamics: Therapy for Networked RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
- Relationship Anarchy: Designing Connection on Your TermsUpdated Jun 26
- Attachment Styles in Non-Traditional RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
- The Relationship Escalator and Queer RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
- Opening a Relationship: How to Do It With CareUpdated Jun 26
- Coming Out as Non-Monogamous to Family and FriendsUpdated Jun 26
Going Deeper
- Communication Strategies for ThrouplesUpdated Jun 26
- Managing Jealousy in Open RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
- Rebuilding Trust After InfidelityUpdated Jun 26
- Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Breaking the CycleUpdated Jun 26
- The Gottman Method: What the Research SaysUpdated Jun 26
- Gay Couples Therapy: Affirming, Evidence-Based SupportUpdated Jun 26
Related Topics
- Queer Relationship Therapy: Authentic ConnectionUpdated Jun 26
- Interracial Relationship Therapy: Love Across DifferenceUpdated Jun 26
- Latino Couples Therapy: Culture, Family, and PartnershipUpdated Jun 26
- The Same Three Fights: What's Underneath Recurring ConflictUpdated Jun 26
- When Partners Want Different ThingsUpdated Jun 26
- Kink in Long-Term RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
Further Reading
- Coming Out as Kinky to a PartnerUpdated Jun 26
- Attachment Wounds and How Couples Heal ThemUpdated Jun 26
- Intimacy and Desire: Reconnecting in Long RelationshipsUpdated Jun 26
- Throuple Jealousy Management: Tools That WorkUpdated Jun 26
- Attachment Theory: The Blueprint for How We LoveUpdated Jun 26
- Sexless Relationships: Understanding Desire DiscrepancyUpdated Jun 26
02Why the same three fights keep happening
Emotionally Focused Therapy maps recurring conflict as a cycle: one partner pursues, the other withdraws, and each move confirms the other’s fear. The cycle is the enemy, not the partner. Naming it — out loud, together — is often the first moment a couple stops blaming each other and starts working as a team against the pattern they are both caught in.
Source: International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy — Research
03Jealousy, security, and the parts underneath
In open and polyamorous relationships especially, jealousy gets treated as a character flaw to suppress. An IFS lens treats it instead as a part trying to protect something tender — and that part has information. Working with it, rather than against it, tends to lower its volume far more than willpower ever does. The three cards below trace how a recurring rupture moves toward repair.
Rupture
The same argument ignites — pursue, withdraw, repeat — and each round confirms the old fear.
Insight
The cycle gets named together; the attachment need underneath becomes visible to both partners.
Repair
Partners turn toward the need instead of the fight, and jealousy becomes information rather than a wound.
Not sure where to start? A free 20-minute consultation is the simplest way to find your fit.
Book a Free Consultation04ENM, polyamory, and relationship anarchy — affirmed and understood
Ethical non-monogamy is not a phase to be managed back to monogamy. APG’s clinicians understand the real mechanics — agreements, hierarchy and non-hierarchy, metamour dynamics, the relationship escalator and the choice to step off it — so the work can focus on connection and communication rather than education. This is rare, high-fluency territory, and it is the same depth work, adapted to more than two.
05Your path: starting as a couple or a network
Beginning is the same low-stakes step whether you arrive as two people or a network of partners.
Book a free consult
A 20-minute conversation about fit — joint or individual — with no commitment.
Get matched
We pair you with a clinician fluent in your structure and your goals.
Do the work together
EFT, Gottman, IFS, and depth work that reaches the cycle underneath the conflict.
06Modalities for relationship work
The work draws on EFT and attachment science for the emotional cycle, the Gottman Method for communication and repair, IFS for the parts each partner brings, and depth approaches for the histories underneath. The table summarizes which tool tends to lead for which presentation.
| Presentation | Lead approach | What it works with |
|---|---|---|
| Recurring conflict cycle | Emotionally Focused Therapy | The attachment need under the fight |
| Communication / repair | Gottman Method | Skills for conflict and connection |
| Jealousy / insecurity | Internal Family Systems | The protective part carrying it |
| Old relational patterns | Depth / psychodynamic | The history each partner brings |
Related Reading
The Bottom Line
Every kind of relationship deserves a clinician who already gets yours. Whether you arrive as a couple, a throuple, or a polycule, the work is the same: stop the loop, understand what is underneath, and decide your future from connection rather than inertia.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is relationships all configurations?
Relationship therapy for every configuration is care that affirming relationship work treats the structure of your relationship as valid and the recurring pattern as the work. At Angeles Psychology Group it is delivered through depth and somatic modalities matched to the person, beginning with a free consultation.
How does APG’s depth-oriented approach to relationships all configurations help?
Rather than managing symptoms on the surface, Angeles Psychology Group works with the patterns and stored experience underneath — using Orgonomic somatic work, Internal Family Systems, depth psychology, and Emotion-Focused Therapy, matched to your situation. The aim is durable change, not just coping.
Is relationships all configurations offered in person near Mid-Wilshire or by telehealth across California?
Both. Angeles Psychology Group works from one office at 6363 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 520 in Mid-Wilshire and serves the rest of California by secure, HIPAA-compliant telehealth. Many clients on the Westside, in Long Beach, and in Pasadena choose telehealth to remove the commute.
Do I have to be in crisis to start therapy?
No. You do not need to be in crisis to benefit — many people come simply to understand themselves more deeply or to change a pattern that has not shifted. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 at any time.
Does APG prescribe medication?
No. Angeles Psychology Group is a psychology practice and provides psychotherapy only. Where medication is relevant, we coordinate with your own psychiatrist or prescriber, who manages it.
How much does it cost, and do you take insurance?
APG is primarily a self-pay / out-of-network practice and can typically provide superbills for clients seeking out-of-network reimbursement; associate-clinician rates widen access. The first step — a 20-minute consultation — is free, so you can assess fit before any commitment.
How do I get started?
The first step is a free 20-minute consultation. Book your consultation or call (310) 866-0440, and we will match you with the right clinician and approach for you.
About this guide
This guide reflects the clinical approach of Angeles Psychology Group, a depth-oriented, affirming psychology practice in Los Angeles founded by Dr. Neil Schierholz, PsyD (PSY25154). Angeles Psychology Group provides psychotherapy and does not prescribe medication; where medication is relevant, care is coordinated with a client’s own prescriber. Statistics are framed as research suggests and cited to primary sources where used.
What’s new: June 2026 — pillar guide published with expanded library and FAQs.